WHY DOES SETTING BOUNDARIES MAKE US FEEL LIKE SHIT?

This past year, I’ve been in some situations where I’ve had to set firm boundaries. The kind that are needed for my mental health, and theirs. Knowing this, it should be easy to state said boundary, and follow through, right? Ummm…that would be a no. It feels pretty horrible actually, and sometimes painful. We are bombarded by messages and infographics all over the internet that tell us what we should be saying - ‘If this continues, I won’t be spending time here’, ‘If you continue to guilt me, I will end this conversation’, and then everything will be better. The other party will respond well, and the air will be cleared and all your issues will go away. I don’t know about you, but just the thought of saying some of these phrases that are touted as the only way to set boundaries breaks me out in a cold sweat.