5 WAYS TO OVERCOME FEAR OF FAILURE
Fear of failure. It’s a common obstacle in the journey to finding your purpose, so if you suffer from it, know that you are not alone. Most of us have had it at some point, but how the hell can you stop it holding you back?
It usually shows up as not taking any action at all, for fear of being a big fat failure. It can also show up as being in a permanent state of confusion about what to do next. Being stuck in confusion means you don’t have to make a decision, which means you don’t take action, which means you can’t possibly fail. You know how you’ve been procrastinating on that thing you actually want to do? Fear of failure could very possibly be the culprit.
If I do the thing and fail, what will my family/friends/co-workers/that person I knew when I was 5 think? What if I take the leap, follow my passion and it all goes down the toilet? What then?
Sound familiar? Read on for 5 ways you can stop fear of failure in it’s tracks:
REDEFINE FAILURE.
What does it actually mean to fail? Think about past situations in your life that felt like huge failures at the time. What exactly made them failures? The outcome didn’t live up to your expectations? That’s ok. It just means you can take the lessons and redefine it as a success, right? Thomas Edison hit the nail on the head with this one: ‘I didn’t fail. I just found 1000 ways that didn’t work.’
PLAY OUT THE WORST CASE SCENARIO IN YOUR MIND.
What is it that you are actually afraid of? Take a moment to envision the worst case scenario - all of it. Every last detail. What does it look like? You want to quit the soul sucking job you’ve worked for the last 15 years and move to a different country? Ok, maybe it doesn’t work out that way, you leave your job but don’t quite make it to Bali. What then? This is your dream, the thing you know will make you feel so much happier. Are you going to let it go that easily? Didn’t think so. So, you try again in a few months. You re-jig your plans, and make it happen. Boil down your worst case scenario by asking ‘What then’ after every step. Chances are, it’s nowhere near as bad as you thought.
VISUALISE THE BEST CASE SCENARIO.
Let’s flip that worst case. When you’ve spent so long asking ‘What if it all goes tits up?’ it can be easy to forget the other side of the coin - ‘What if it all goes right?. Imagine the best possible outcome. I’m talking rainbows and unicorns here - everything you want and desire, happening for you. Close your eyes, and spend 5-10 minutes thinking about it. What do you see? What do you hear, smell, taste, touch? Put yourself there. Do this every. single. day. Your brain will soon get used to going to this picture, instead of the shite one. And once the Universe hears you doing this - it will happen. When you visualise the same thing day after day, your brain doesn’t know the difference. It will happen, it’s only a matter of time.
WHY ARE YOU AFRAID?
Ask yourself why you are afraid of moving forward and doing the thing. Really, what is the reason? You’re afraid of what Sue down the road will think, or Jill from the office? It makes sense that you care, it’s our old reptilian brain at work. If we didn’t fit in with the tribe in the very olden days (I’m a coach, not a historian - everything is the olden days to me), we died. Now you know why, you can tell your brain you’ll be just fine without the approval of everyone else. Maybe there are 100 other reasons you’re afraid - think about them and write them down. Then ask, why does it matter?
GOOGLE THE PEOPLE YOU LOOK UP TO.
Who do you admire? Google them. You’ll be hard pushed to find a single one that hasn’t ‘failed’ numerous times. All those super successful people you look up to, they’ve all failed way more than the average person. The difference is, they weren’t afraid to. Or, they were and they did it anyway!
Lucille Ball was told she wouldn’t make it as an actress, Marilyn Monroe was told by a modelling agency to be a secretary, Vera Wang was a ‘failed’ figure skater, and Arianna Huffington had her book rejected by 36 publishing companies.
If you want to succeed, you have to fail first.
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