HOW TO CULTIVATE SELF WORTH
Self-worth. What does that phrase mean to you? That you feel worthy? Valued? Loved? The truth is, self-worth is the foundation upon which we build self-esteem and confidence. Everything starts with believing you are worthy.
But, how do you know if you suffer from low self-worth in the first place? Some tell-tale signs:
You have regular negative thoughts about yourself
You blame yourself whenever anything goes wrong
Boundaries? What are they?
Your humour of choice is self-deprecating
You don’t take care of yourself
You feel uncomfortable stating your preferences - e.g. you wouldn’t like to suggest where to go for dinner
You constantly compare yourself to others
So, you can see why it would be important to have a strong sense of self-worth. There are so many benefits to working on it:
You’ll find it easier to cope with life’s ups and downs
You will finally realise your full, glorious potential
You’ll feel valued as a person
You’ll have a more positive outlook
Stress and stressful situations will be easier to deal with
You’ll feel more fearless!
You will make more meaningful connections with others
More energy
You’ll feel way more motivated to take action
But how do you even begin to cultivate self-worth, especially when it’s not something you’ve ever found easy? Don’t worry, there are so many things you can do and steps you can take to rebuild your sense of worth.
First off, start setting boundaries . This is such an important step, but it can be tricky to know where to start. I’m sure you will immediately have someone in mind you want to set boundaries with, but it’s just as important to set them with yourself, too. Do you answer work emails when you are off? Instantly respond to friends/family when you are exhausted and need rest? Feel like you need to be available at all times for others? If these are ringing true, you have to start making time that is for you alone, and put your needs first. Everyone else can wait, they will be ok! The best thing you can do when setting boundaries is focus on ‘I’, not ‘you’. Don’t blame the other person - just state your needs. And follow through! A boundary without consequences is just a threat. If just the thought of setting a boundary is giving you the fear - write down what you want to say and practice saying it out loud until it rolls off the tongue and you feel comfortable with it.
Switching up your negative thoughts is another great place to start. That inner critic can be so loud! The best thing you can do is gently challenge her, and give her a name. That’s right, name that inner critic, that voice in your head that is busy telling you you don’t deserve success? Name her. Any name will do! And once you do, talk back. Just make sure you do it in a loving and compassionate way - no beating yourself up for thinking the thought in the first place. Like so:
‘Thanks for that Jolene, but I’m good. I don’t need protecting right now, this is actually a good thing for me’
‘There goes that Jolene again! Trying to keep me safe. Isn’t that nice?’
Lat but not least, start recognising what you’re good at! Get your journal out and make a list of all your achievements. Yup, all of them, since forever! You’ll see a pattern of all the things you do well. Ask 3 of your friends what they think you’re biggest strengths are - if this makes you cringe, use text or email and tell them it’s part of a course you’re doing. You’ll be amazed at their answers and get all the warm and fuzzies to boot! Start keeping an achievement journal daily - at the end of the day, write down 3 things you are proud of achieving that day. It can be as simple as getting up and going for a walk, it doesn’t have to be a huge thing, just write it down. ‘I’m so proud of myself for going for a walk today even when I really didn’t feel like it. It shows motivation’ Easy! Now you know you’re good at motivating yourself. Are you a good listener? Great baker? Excellent sense of humour? Write it down!
There are so many ways to cultivate your self-worth, and these are just a few ways that you can start your journey. If you need more support or guidance, please drop me a message and I’ll be happy to chat!
