HOW TO START MAKING CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE

I think it’s fair to say that most, if not all, of us want to make some changes in our life one way or another. We have something in mind we really, really want to change, but for some reason it’s just not happening and we can’t figure out why. We know what we want to do, we know why, but still….the change evades us.

So, why is it so hard? There are a few ways you could be holding yourself back from moving forward with changes, without even realising it. I’m going to share some fairly universal reasons that could explain why it’s not happening for you, the first being…

You fear being uncomfortable

Listen, I get it. Being uncomfortable is not pleasant, and I’ll bet you’re doing your best to avoid it. Change - even welcome - can bring a sense of discomfort. The changes that we find easy to make are the ones that mean we don’t have to get super uncomfortable, right? The ones we find harder to make are usually the ones that could lead to failure, judgement, rejection…the list goes on. We don’t want to put ourselves in that place!

How do you push through? You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable sometimes. Think about the last time you were uncomfortable, how long did it actually last? Minutes? Days? Sometimes longer, like if you start a new job for example, but it always levels off to comfort at some point. Remember, no feelings last forever. What’s worse - staying where you are and being comfortable (bored?) forever, or dipping your toe in discomfort to get what you really want?

It takes too much energy

Change takes energy. It’s way easier to do what we’ve always done, and expend as little energy as possible. Just the thought of using some of your precious energy can be too much, let alone doing the thing! If you want to make real change, you need to accept that it will take time, and energy.

Try and make other parts of your life a bit easier to manage while you make the change, so you can pour your energy into the change you’re making. How can you take some things off your plate? Who can you call in support from? Can you outsource anything? Get your food shop delivered instead of going to get it, hire a cleaner for even one or two hours a month, or a VA if you run a small business? Or maybe you can club together with others trying to make the same change as you, so you can all boost each other up when you need it? What are the things that use most of your energy, and how can you get help with them?

You’re trying to change too many things at once

We’ve all been there. Let’s take New Year as an example. You want to start eating better, exercising more, meditating, turning your phone off at night, reading more, some new course you saw…and you are super motivated to get going with all of them. And you do all of them, for a few days or even a few weeks, before you burn out and can’t do any of them. Sound familiar?

You can do anything but you can’t do everything. Pick one, just one thing that will steadily inch you towards one of your long terms goals. Once you’ve got that in the bag, you can build on it. What’s your priority? How do you want to feel? Fitter? Do the exercise. More peaceful? Do the meditating. The rest can follow. Slow and steady wins the race!

You’re listening to your inner critic

Ah, how she loves to ‘protect’ us. To keep us safe and warm, and perfectly in our comfort zone. And that inner critic is pretty hard to ignore, she knows exactly what to say to bring us down. ‘You’re not good enough to do that’ ‘People will laugh at you’ ‘Everyone will judge you’….you know the ones that are in your head when you want to make a change.

When you catch those thoughts, challenge them! Speak back. ‘I’m not good enough? Says who? What evidence do I have that disproves that?’ Be kind - don’t beat yourself up for having the thoughts - but so speak back. Name that inner critic, then tell her thanks but I’m safe. I don’t need protecting. Have a think on the opposite of what she says - what would happen if you were good enough? What would you do differently?

I’d love to know your biggest challenges when it comes to making changes - leave a comment and I’ll see how I can help!