HOW TO START LOVING YOURSELF
We hear it alllll the time, but how do we even begin to tackle loving and accepting who we are? Do I really have stand in the mirror and say ‘I love you!’? Did your bum cringe just thinking about it? Don’t worry - it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are my top 6 ways to begin loving yourself (yes that way too - self love is important 😜)
1.SAY NO
Having boundaries doesn't make you a bad person. Putting yourself first benefits everyone around you. We've been conditioned to think saying yes is polite, but when it's to the detriment of your mental or physical health, start saying no. The best thing you can do when setting boundaries is focus on ‘I’, not ‘you’. Don’t blame the other person - just state your needs. And follow through! A boundary without consequences is just a threat. If just the thought of setting a boundary is giving you the fear - write down what you want to say and practice saying it out loud until it rolls off the tongue and you feel comfortable with it.
2. ACCEPT THAT NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE YOU
... And stop trying to make them. You don't like every single person you meet right? Same goes for them too! Who the hell cares if Sandra from marketing doesn't like you? That's her issue, not yours. Don't change who you are to make someone you don't even like, like you.
An analogy I once heard about this has stuck with me, so please allow me to share:
Imagine you’re at a party, and you are standing speaking to ten people. You are saying the exact same thing, and having the same conversation with all of them. You look the same to each of those people. Then, when everyone leaves the party, every one of those ten people will have a different opinion about you. Why? You said the same and looked the same to all of them. It’s because of their stories. They all have their own beliefs and stories they carry with them. One may dislike you because you remind them of a family member they don’t like, one may love you because you hold the same values as them. One may not like you because they don’t like your shoes! It’s that simple. If they don’t like you, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or unlikable.
3. PRACTICE GRATITUDE
I've spoken about this a hundred times. It works, so just try it please and thank you. It’s impossible to carry feelings of hate while you are in a state of gratitude. Start with 3 things daily, and take note of them as you go through your day. Make sure you mean it! Don’t just pay lip service ‘I’m grateful for my bed, my home’ - really think about it. What happened that day that you’re proud of? Who had an impact on your life? What did you do for yourself? Delve deep and feel it.
4. ACCEPT YOUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS
... And don't judge them. You are not your thoughts - and those thoughts create how you feel too. Negative thoughts can make up up to 70% of what goes through our minds every day. Witness them, question them, feel the feels and move on. The best thing you can do is get them out of your head and onto paper, and doubt the negative ones. Ask - Why am I thinking this? Is it true? Can I absolutely, 100% know it’s true? What evidence do I have that disproves it?
5. SPEAK KINDLY TO YOURSELF
Speaking of those negative thoughts... When you hear that shite, imagine your bestie saying that about themselves. Pretty horrible, right? Once you've heard them, trying saying the opposite and get them tae feck!
6. SPEND TIME ON DISCOVERING WHO YOU ARE
The most important! How can you love yourself when you don't know who you really are? Spend the time, invest in yourself and find out what your values and beliefs are. If you need help with that, hop over here and we can have a chat about it.
So, there you have it - a few pointers to get you started. Of course, the journey of complete self acceptance is life long, and there will be bumps along the way….but you’ll always come back to it.
